its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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