That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you didnt know i had herpes?
Even my vagina gasped.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
