Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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