time to smoke my breakfast
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
