You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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