I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
