Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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