Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
