Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
