best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
