Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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