Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
