whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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