is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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