The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Alive.
So much puke
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
