69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
