You just made me feel so damn special
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
