just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
