I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
