omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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