is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
