Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
