some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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