Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
