well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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