hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
