i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
