He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
