is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
