there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
