Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
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