I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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