Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
