I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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