your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
