she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
