is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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