After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
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