i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We had sex on a dog bed..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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