It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
