I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
