"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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