People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
