yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
