I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
