Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
