I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
