Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
