I am puke
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
