I puked a lego.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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