I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
She's JV to your varsity
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
