How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
