Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
