i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We got so high we made milksteak
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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